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  • Ep149-Up Your Happiness in a Down Economy with Jackie Ruka - May 23,2012
    Bestselling author, coach and book marketer Lynn Serafinn hosts lifestyle expert, art therapist, author and founder of the Get Happy Zone, Jackie Ruka. Jackie is the queen of self reinvention, having had two major career changes and surviving a literally back-breaking experience that almost caused an accident with Buddha himself. Based on her own life enhanc […]
  • Ep148- Life Challenges are Gifts of the Soul - May 16,2012
    Bestselling author, coach and book marketer Lynn Serafinn hosts empath, metaphysical teacher and spiritual author Erica Tucci. Erica Tucci was living a very full life. She was a corporate manager, a life coach for women, Reiki master, massage therapist and author. She was also a single mum of two wonderful young men now in college. But it all came to a scree […]
  • Ep147- Speaking at Schools & Libraries for Authors - May 09,2012
    Bestselling author, coach and book marketer Lynn Serafinn hosts Barbara Techel, author, publisher, educator, advocate for dogs with disc disease and therapy dog team volunteer. Barbara Techel began a journey five years ago that she never intended to travel. After her beloved Dachshund, Frankie, was diagnosed with disc disease that caused paralysis, she thoug […]
  • Ep146- Shifting into Purer Consciousness With Yvonne Perry - May 02,2012
    Bestselling author, coach and book marketer Lynn Serafinn hosts empath coach, metaphysical teacher, spiritual author and host of We Are One in Spirit Podcast, Yvonne Perry. For many years, Yvonne Perry’s empathic abilities caused great distress until she learned how to protect her auric field. Her best-selling book, Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from […]
  • Ep145- The Oneness Gospel with Author Charlene Proctor - Apr 25,2012
    Bestselling author, coach and book marketer Lynn Serafinn hosts spiritual author, minister, blessing giver and empowerment coach, Charlene M. Proctor , Ph.D. Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D. is an ordained Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking and a Deeksha facilitator trained by the oneness guides from Fiji and India. She is the bestselling author of Let Your Goddess […]
  • Ep144- Life-Changing Conversations with Sarah Rozenthuler - Apr 18,2012
    Bestselling author, coach and book marketer Lynn Serafinn hosts author, spiritual educator, organizational psychologist, leadership development consultant, executive and life coach Sarah Rozenthuler. As a young woman, Sarah has struggled to talk with people, including loved ones, at key moments in her life. Because of this, she was always been interested in […]

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July 11, 2009

Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World -Pt 5

Posted by: Lynn Serafinn  :  Category: Coaching, Inspiration, Personal Transformation, Social Reform

Subscribe to this blog to receive weekly radio listings for Garden of the Soul Radio. Tune into the show Wednesdays at http://blogtalkradio.com/lynn-serafinn

Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World (Part 5 of 5)
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC
Personal Transformation Coach and bestselling author

For Part 1: view post dated 7 July 2009
For Part 2: view post dated 8 July 2009
For Part 3: view post dated 9 July 2009
For Part 4: view post dated 10 July 2009

Becoming BIG
Just to share with you, three years ago, I claimed my own life purpose: 

“I am the all-embracing voice that frees the hearts of millions
to sing their own true song.”

 Notice this life purpose sounds very “big”. A life purpose should be big! When I work with clients to find their life purpose, we don’t stop until it takes their own breath away. My purpose still takes my breath away, and it gives me tremendous self-permission and motivation. How can I “free the hearts of millions” if I stay in a box living a small life? For instance, I wrote a book and I also do a radio show. Both of these reach an audience that is far greater than I could ever have reached if I stayed “small”. My book is all about finding one’s voice and living the life you were meant to live. Reaching a wide audience is not driven by my own personal desire for fame, but rather by my life purpose. I know that I can only help free the hearts of millions by reaching millions of people.

 Balance, resilience and recovery
Getting to the stage of discovering and claiming our life purpose is wonderful, but if I were simply to get clients all high on life during our coaching sessions with no tools to recover from the inevitable ups and downs of life, then they would simply burn out and are likely to go back to their old patterns in life. In my book The Garden of the Soul, as well as in my own life, I follow a simple balancing model of Four Principles: Give, Receive, Become and Be. Life is like riding a surfboard. There are always going to be waves going up and down and side to side. Surfers know how to sense the waves and stay on the board, and if they do happen to fall off, they know how to get out of the way of the board, and also how to get back onto their feet. All in all, it’s a fine craft learning how to find balance, expanding the awareness, trusting your intuition, responding to the situation and enjoying the ride.

And that is what really what life is all about too. In my own life, my book, my coaching and my workshops I use this model of “Give, Receive, Become and Be” to master the art of balance, resilience and recovery, so that we can find a sustainable way to find fulfilment, manifest our life purpose and become the heroes of our own lives, and bring all those wonderful gifts into the world for which we were created.

And that is why personal transformation is so important, not merely for our own sakes, but for the sake of the entire world. If you have been stuck in an unfulfilling state of life, resisting the call of your own life because you thought it would be selfish to do so, or felt you did not have the courage or ability to change, go for a walk into Nature today and simply listen, allowing the Universe to speak directly to your heart. You will hear that all your reasons for avoiding your own life are based upon fear of being alone in your story. Step into that fear and embrace your purpose in life, and allow the Universe carry you. If you feel any doubts, remind yourself that this wonderful Universe is big enough to carry each and every one of us.

AND… never forget: the Universe WANTS you to succeed!

*   *   *   *   *

That’s the complete article
“Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World.”

Ready to explore your own journey of personal transformation?
I offer free 30-minute consultations to a limited amount of prospective clients every month. CLICK HERE to request a free consultation.

Be sure to subscribe to this blog to receive upcoming articles AND visit the Create-a-Life Coaching website for free eBooks, newsletter and more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

For more information about Lynn and her work, visit:

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July 10, 2009

Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World – Pt 4

Posted by: Lynn Serafinn  :  Category: Coaching, Inspiration, Lynn Serafinn, Personal Transformation, Social Reform

Subscribe to this blog to receive weekly radio listings for Garden of the Soul Radio. Tune into the show Wednesdays at http://blogtalkradio.com/lynn-serafinn

Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World (Part 4)
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC
Personal Transformation Coach and bestselling author

For Part 1: view post dated 7 July 2009
For Part 2: view post dated 8 July 2009
For Part 3: view post dated 9 July 2009

The role of coaching in this process
In my coaching, this is a major facet of how I help people. First, I help them realise the unconscious limiting belief patterns they have created and carried with them for many years (perhaps since they were children). Because coaching focuses on the “now” and not the past, it is not essential to go back in time to the cause of these beliefs; but often I find that as soon as clients see the pattern emerging in their lives, they can frequently scan back in their memory and find the root of it without effort. Usually, they are amazed that the belief has gone back so far in time, and they begin to see the impact this belief has had upon them, sometimes for many decades. This in itself can create a huge shift in the clients’ view of life, and they see that they are truly at choice to change their belief system, if it is no longer working for them in their current lives.

Stepping into your life purpose
Of course, as you begin to transform, it is also important to learn compassion and forgiveness towards oneself as you release these old belief systems, so you do not blame yourself for wasted time or spend time dwelling on regrets for past decisions. This process of “letting go” is the next stage in transformation. Taking a step back and seeing the bigger picture of the story of your life, instead of all the little stories in isolation, you begin to see who the world has been calling for you to become within your lifetime. At this stage, I help clients identify and claim their life purpose.

A life purpose is not the same thing as a career or defining what you want to “do”. A life purpose is identifying your ultimate impact on the world—your legacy. Once we come to understand that we actually have a life purpose, we look at life differently.

If the words “impact” or “legacy” are too challenging for you at this point, trying substituting them with the word “gift”. To get a clue as to your purpose in life, ask yourself these questions:

  • What keeps calling me over and over again throughout my life?
  • What do I keep resisting out of fear?
  • If I could create/do anything, what is the “gift” I would want to leave behind for the rest of the world?
  • What would I need to stop resisting so I could give that gift?

When you begin to see that you have a “gift” for the world, it shifts your sense of purpose. Instead of believing you are powerless and insignificant, you begin to see your own importance in the world. When I work with clients at this stage, I help them “claim” their life purpose, and learn how to give themselves full permission to live that purpose, for the sake of giving the gift that only they can give. This is when all the old, out-of-date belief systems simply start to slip away. No longer do we see ourselves as selfish human beings for living our life purpose, Rather we start to see that our own personal transformation and fulfilment is actually the key that can unlock a future world that is full of peace, harmony, compassion and wide-spread happiness at a global level…

To be continued.
Be sure to subscribe to this blog to receive complete article.

Coming up in Part 5:

  • “Becoming BIG” and
  • “Balance, Resilience and Recovery”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

For more information about Lynn and her work, visit:

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July 09, 2009

Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World – Pt 3

Posted by: Lynn Serafinn  :  Category: Coaching, Inspiration, Lynn Serafinn, Personal Transformation, Social Reform

Subscribe to this blog to receive weekly radio listings for Garden of the Soul Radio. Tune into the show Wednesdays at http://blogtalkradio.com/lynn-serafinn

Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World (Part 3)
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC
Personal Transformation Coach and bestselling author

For Part 1: view post dated 7 July 2009
For Part 2: view post dated 8 July 2009

The impact our beliefs have upon us
When we are convinced that something “is” true, it stands to reason that we will not bother to look at it a different way. So at the core of this feeling of powerlessness is the belief that something simply “is” and we are not at choice with it.

But the minute we are willing to try to see the same situation from a different angle, we have stepped out of the role of being the victim, and become one step closer to our Authentic Self. For instance, if someone has the habitual tendency to criticise you, you might have developed a belief around the fact that you are trapped in this situation and cannot escape it. At the core of this belief might be a deeper belief that you are weak and powerless, or that you actually are all the horrible things that the person is saying you are. Standing in these beliefs, you already believe yourself to be weak, flawed and vulnerable, and your reactions will be dictated by these beliefs. Because you feel so vulnerable, you might react by counter-attacking their criticisms. Or, if you are feeling very flawed and weak, you might simply “stuff” your feelings so as not to get into an argument, only to feel upset or irritable about it later. You might even believe that what they are saying is true, and beat yourself up about it rather than get into a conflict with them.

This is classic “passive-aggressive” behaviour. In either case, whether passive or aggressive, you have still allowed their criticisms to affect you emotionally, and to enter your mental and physical world. In the long term, this can cause stress and even disease. In some extreme scenarios (such as abuse or incessant bullying) it might be necessary to take yourself physically out of the situation as a first step, but until you learn how to realign and rebalance yourself from such energies in the outside world, you will simply continue to swing back and forth in a passive-aggressive pattern, without being truly free of its effects.

Learning to realign
Learning to realign is a matter of developing the ability to step into different perspectives where you are not “taking on” the energy of that critical person, and you do not feel the need to expend any of your own energy towards it, whether physical, mental or emotional. When you begin this process of realignment, you start to see that person as someone who is simply trapped in their own sense of powerlessness, and their criticisms lose their energy. When you do not take on that undesired energy, and you do not expend any of your own energy to reflect it, you remain equipoised, balanced and stress-free. And when the body and mind are not under stress, it means you are not only healthier and happier, but you are also more able to be creative and find more solutions to the challenges in your life. So while it is true that you cannot change the person’s behaviour, their behaviour no longer has a negative impact on you, and you find that you are more able to create the outcome you truly desire for yourself…

 To be continued.
Be sure to subscribe to this blog to receive complete article.

Coming up in Part 4:

  • “The Role of Coaching in this Process” and
  • “Stepping into Your Life Purpose”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

For more information about Lynn and her work, visit:

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July 08, 2009

Can you help us get the Transition Network going here in Bedford?

Posted by: Lynn Serafinn  :  Category: Lynn Serafinn, Social Reform

Subscribe to this blog to receive weekly radio listings for Garden of the Soul Radio. Tune into the show Wednesdays at http://blogtalkradio.com/lynn-serafinn

Those of you who know me know that I believe there is a powerful and positive shift in global consciousness happening throughout the world. At the same time, these days we are also being met with an unparalleled amount of challenges in all aspects of our external and internal environments. The Transistion Movement was originally formed to answer the call to action we are facing with regards to the need to move away from fossil fuels for our energy supply. But really, it is much more than that. The Transition Movement (and now the Transition Network) offers us the opportunity to bring communities back together for the purpose of creating their own future, at all levels of human existence. Conservation, ecology, economy, education, abundance, health, wellbeing, global peace, non-judgment, inclusivity, self-worth, awareness of the sanctity of life and of the planet and a return to grass-roots community and support are but some of the values that I believe are a part of the emerging Transition Network.

This week I have had the great honour of being asked to be the Chairperson for Transition Bedford, which is a part of the greater Transition Network throughout the world. Local members here in Bedford would like to send me for Transition training, so I can better serve both our town and the Transition movement in general. This training will enable me to help Bedford and other local communities create their own non-political, grass-roots solutions to environmental and social challenges we currently face at a global level.

I am MOST fortunate to have been given 
a place on my first training session… 
THIS WEEKEND (11/12 July) in London.

Will you please pledge £10 to help send me on this training? 

If we raise enough, I will also be able to go on the “Train the Transition Trainer” programme, so we can create a formidable group of Transition trainers in this part of the UK, and make a real impact in building awareness in our schools and local communities, so everyone can understand both the importance and the practical means of living in harmony with each other and with our environment.

AND, as Founder/Leader of the Global Wellness Circle here in Britain, I will also be able to utilise my training directly to serve a rapidly growing network of over 400 members in the central UK region.

To give your pledge, or for more information about the training and the Transition Network in general, click on the link above, or go to: http://www.pledgebank.com/TTTraining

NOTE: You don’t need to live in Bedford or even in the UK to help. All you need is to do is this:

  1. Click the link above
  2. Click to “sign” the pledge
  3. Go to http://www.paypal.com
  4. Send £10 to this email: lynn [at] create-a-life [dot] co [dot] uk. Replace the word “at” with “@” and the words “dot” with a dot “.”
  5. If you send your £10 as a “gift”, you can opt to pay the 53p service charge to ensure we receive your complete donation. Transition Bedford is not yet registered, but when we do, we can send you a receipt so you can deduct it from your taxes.

Want to know more about the Transition movement? Check out this video by Rob Carr:

The Powerdown Show – Transition Towns and Energy Descent Pathways from Rob Carr on Vimeo.

The deadline for the pledge is 20 July. Could you PLEASE forward this to your friends and colleagues who might be interested in supporting this?

Thanks SO much for your support!

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC
Coach, author and Founder of the Global Wellness Circle

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July 08, 2009

Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World – Pt 2

Posted by: Lynn Serafinn  :  Category: Coaching, Inspiration, Lynn Serafinn, Personal Transformation, Social Reform

Subscribe to this blog to receive weekly radio listings for Garden of the Soul Radio. Tune into the show Wednesdays at http://blogtalkradio.com/lynn-serafinn

Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World (Part 2)
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC
Personal Transformation Coach and bestselling author

(if you missed Part 1, view post dated 7 July 2009)

The stories we tell ourselves
In my work, I have discovered that many people would indeed change, even at the age of 50 or even older, if they believed they had the power, choice and courage to do so. I hear them say things like, “Ok, all that sounds really good, but I can’t change my life. I have a family, job, etc. It would be SELFISH for me to change. My world would fall apart. I would let everyone else down. It would be irresponsible of me. I cannot change my life. Isn’t it the mature and dignified thing to simply accept what we cannot change?” 

Well here’s something that might come as a shock to you—if you are not living the life that the world had in mind for you when you came into this world, and you are currently suffering as a result, it is actually selfish of you NOT to transform yourself, and step into the person you were always meant to be. Why? Because you are not on the outside of the world looking in, or the inside of your own little world looking out. You are an integral part of this greater world called the Universe. You are like a facet in a very intricate diamond. If I take out your facet, the entire system loses a bit of its lustre. When you are not living the life the Universe deeply desires you to live, you not only get caught in an endless karmic swirl of frustration and personal dissatisfaction, but you also cause the Universe to weep for that person it knows you are, and for the impact it wants you to create in the greater world.

“Whoa there—impact?” you may ask. “Who me? You say I am supposed to create an impact? People like me don’t create an impact on the world.” 

Well, here’s the news:

  • You are exactly the same kind of person as those you consider to be great heroes
  • Everything you do already creates an impact, whether you are aware of it or not

Why we stay stuck
I believe that the reason why so many of us stay stuck in lives that do not fulfil us is because we believe we are powerless. I believe that this feeling arises from a basic lack of connection to Self and the rest of the world. When we feel disconnected from Self and other, our energies are driven downwards—mentally, physically and emotionally—and we become less able to see and feel our impact, even though we are indeed creating one. We begin to feel isolated and insignificant, and these feelings can lead us to believe we are very small and therefore have no impact upon the world. And sadly, when we believe ourselves to be these things, the world (and the life) we create for ourselves only reinforces these beliefs again and again.

Seeing so much “evidence” around us confirming (or so we believe) that we are small and insignificant, we develop the underlying belief that life is “happening to us” and all of this is simply beyond our control. As soon as we adopt this belief system, where we hold ourselves to be powerless, we have stepped into the role of the victim. Playing the role of the victim is a very subtle thing. Many of us may not realise we are doing it, and would argue that it is not true. Many of us might say, “You’re wrong. I’m not playing the victim. It’s just that the economy really is bad right now” or “It’s just that my parent/partner is always so critical of me” or “It’s just the way my life is right now” or “It’s just that my body is prone to such-and-such illness.” As soon as such “is” statements become our truths, we take on the role of the victim because we are saying that we are simply powerless against the forces around us. And in some distorted way, this because a very satisfying place to be for many people (I used to be like this myself) because it allows us to blame another person, entity or circumstance for our troubles, thus making us feel less critical of ourselves. But deep down, we are simply spinning in a vortex of powerlessness that we ourselves have chosen…

To be continued.
Be sure to subscribe to this blog to receive complete article.

Coming up in Part 3:

  • “The Impact Our Beliefs Have Upon Us” and
  • “Learning to Realign”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

For more information about Lynn and her work, visit:

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July 07, 2009

Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World – Pt 1

Posted by: Lynn Serafinn  :  Category: Coaching, Inspiration, Lynn Serafinn, Personal Transformation

Subscribe to this blog to receive weekly radio listings for Garden of the Soul Radio. Tune into the show Wednesdays at http://blogtalkradio.com/lynn-serafinn

Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World (Part 1)
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC
Personal Transformation Coach and bestselling author

Like so many other coaches I know, when I first started my coaching practice, I was going through many changes in my life. Moving to a new country, major illness/surgery, my father’s death, menopause, divorce from a 22-year abusive marriage, recovery from post-traumatic stress, leaving my decades-old religious and social circles, doing a Masters degree and a full teaching qualification, feeling the pangs of “empty nest” when my daughter started her adult life, moving to a new town with nothing but a computer and a suitcase of clothes, living completely on my own for the first time since my 20s, becoming a grandmother, changing jobs three times while climbing the corporate ladder in the educational sector, “making it” by becoming a director of a college department with a good salary and even better prestige, and then suddenly dropping everything to change my career completely to start my own coaching practice (and all the training that goes along with it) had all come within an unbelievably short time period of only 7 years. Furthermore, by the end of those 7 years, I was already in my early 50s. Who in their right mind would start their lives over from scratch at such an age and after going through all that change already?

So, was I in my right mind?

Well, since making the decision to embark on my own journey of personal transformation:

  • A long list of long-term physical illnesses have vanished from my life
  • I look and feel 10 years younger than I did 10 years ago
  • I won a business award for my coaching
  • I started an organisation called the Global Wellness Circle that is transforming the holistic community in central England
  • I became a talk radio host and frequent media guest
  • I have been a keynote speaker at such events as International Women’s Day
  • AND I wrote and self-published an Amazon bestselling book called The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self 

Furthermore, I have coached and mentored hundreds of people through the process of their own personal transformation.

But regardless of all those wonderful things, for which I am truly grateful, the most significant thing of all is that I can honestly say I am truly, deeply happy and fulfilled, and that I know my life has meaning and purpose.

Fleeting versus Ultimate Happiness
A sense of purpose is the most important element in finding deep, core happiness. “Every day happiness” can come to us in many guises. We are happy when we fall in love, have children, are accepted for great new job, complete a course of study, or win a competition. But all of these things are what I call “fleeting happiness” because they are dependent upon time and circumstance. What happens when circumstances change? Where is happiness then?

Ultimate happiness—or joy—can really only come when we are connected to a sense of purpose. You might call it “Divine Purpose” (or at least I do). I firmly believe that every human being is born with an innate purpose to fulfil in this world, and that unless and until we hear the call of that purpose—and answer it—we will continue to spin around in life, trying to get as much “fleeting happiness” as we can find. But the problem with this is that as soon as the “fleeting happiness” runs its course, we will simply look for our next “hit”, because we don’t necessarily have the deep core happiness and joy that comes from living a life “on purpose.”

 To be continued.
Be sure to subscribe to this blog to receive complete article.

Coming up in Part 2:

  • “The Stories We Tell Ourselves” and
  • “Why We Stay Stuck”

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

For more information about Lynn and her work, visit:

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June 16, 2009

Wed 17 June – The World Needs Your Passion

Posted by: Lynn Serafinn  :  Category: Coaching, Inspiration, Social Reform, The Garden of the Soul

Subscribe to this blog to receive weekly radio listings for Garden of the Soul Radio. Tune into the show Wednesdays at http://blogtalkradio.com/lynn-serafinn

 TALK RADIO: The World Needs Your Passion

Author and Personal Transformation Coach Lynn Serafinn hosts British coach, workshop facilitator, award-winning writer, and active permaculture consciousness raiser, Corrina Gordon-Barnes. Winner of the Ooffoo Laureate Award for her writing, Corrina will be sharing her message of the urgency for us humans to make the transition from seeing ourselves as separate beings, to recognising we are all interdependent. She will explain how these unprecedented times are urgently calling each of us to rise above our inhibitions and fears of failures, to invent new, sustainable solutions for our ecological, societal and internal environments. She will also share some of her top tips for overcoming obstacles to new inspirational ventures, so we can create positive change both in our personal lives and in the greater world.

Listen LIVE or “on demand” any time after broadcast at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn/2009/06/17/Ep22-The-World-Needs-Your-Passion

Date: 2009-06-17
Start Time: 18:30
End Time: 19:00

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January 18, 2009

Peace Begets Peace – Pt 2

Posted by: Lynn Serafinn  :  Category: Inspiration, Peace, Social Reform

Subscribe to this blog to receive weekly radio listings for Garden of the Soul Radio. Tune into the show Wednesdays at http://blogtalkradio.com/lynn-serafinn

In response to my first article ‘Peace Begets Peace’, one person (anonymous post) replied:

A nice story but unfortunately irrelevant to the situation in Gaza. The truth is that the child has openly declared that he wants to kill his mother and she is trying to take the knife out of his hands. She knows that he always keeps his promises and is stabbing her for more than 8 years over and over again. She is overreacting because she is afraid of blood poisoning and has had enough. I’m all for everlasting peace. But, when the Hamas says he will not stop short of killing me, I have to believe him. I just can’t see what we can talk about.

While my initial article was written with a view towards peace in general, and not necessarily talking solely about the violence in Gaza, these comments are surely a wonderful expression of the frustration that is undoubtedly felt amongst the nations in question. I can personally relate to the imagery from the perspective of my marriage breaking down 6 years ago. Yes, when any relationship has gotten to the point that you are tired of being ’stabbed’ (using your metaphor), then fight or flight appear to be the only two options. However, I have learned a lot about fighting and flying, and how these appear to be the only options when we are in the midst of a situation. However, if we take a metaview of this, or any, hostile situation, I believe ‘peace begets peace’ does indeed apply on a larger scale.

I completely agree that when a relationship, whether between two people or two peoples, has broken down to the point where they are no longer able to hear each other, and communication is obscured because contempt has replaced it, it can seem like there is no way to fix the wounded relationship. There is a point, as you say, when one or both parties feels too wounded to trust any longer, and the relationship becomes toxic.

If you were a married couple in a toxic situation and could no longer endure it, you would divorce. In a divorce, solicitors are employed because, left to their own devices, the two parties would probably do nothing but shout, defile, blame and threaten each other. There is no more trust between them, so they are incapable of managing their affairs without the assistance of a disinterested third party, who has no real vested interest in the outcome. A solicitor might work well to help the severing process, but what a solicitor does not do is heal the relationship because it is assumed it does not want to heal.

Unfortunately, in the matter of nations, dealing with a toxic relationship is a different matter. You cannot divorce each other, yet still third parties (i.e., other countries) are frequently ’employed’ (or deployed) to act in the role of ’solicitor’ wherein property and boundaries are set, whether through additional warfare, sanctions or resolutions. However, there are several reasons why this is not likely to be particularly effective in the long-term. The first is that a third party nation rarely, if ever, has a genuinely disinterested relationship with either nation, so their intervention is bound to feel like manipulation to one, or even both, of the parties. Secondly, while a divorce lawyer can walk away from his clients thinking that it will be up to the clients to heal themselves as they separate from each other, it is practically impossible for two nations (and I use the word ‘nation’ to mean the people, not the geographic boundaries), especially two that have been living as closely as Israelis and Palestinians have, to separate from each other physically, emotionally, culturally or economically. And while couples who have divorced may or may not heal separately with time (some never do), nations have the disadvantage of not being able to truly separate and heal, nor do they have the luxury of taking time in their collective process because the rest of the world is depending upon their stability.

So when dealing with nations, what we need is not a divorce at all, although we traditionally use these tactics. What we need here is a means of actual healing of the relationship itself, not just of the separate nations. I do understand that sometimes it might be deemed that immediate action of a political or military nature for the purpose of ensuring the safety of oneself is necessary in the short-term. But in the long-term what is needed is for those who are more able to see past the blur of cultural prejudices to help the relationship, not in the role of the ’solicitor’, but as the healer. 

Healing the relationship is not a matter of conducting mediation for the purpose of making resolutions. It is a global process of rebuilding the trust between the parties so that they can see the humanity in each other, and therefore feel inspired to be at peace with each other. No peace can come without both parties being willing to release their judgements, blame and contempt, and this will not happen until their view of both ’self’ and ‘other’ is shifted. So long as both parties hold tightly to the ‘us’ and ‘them’ of the situation, toxicity will remain. And saying that ‘we’ will not release this view until the ‘other’ party does, only perpetuates the problem. Only when the ‘us and them’ perspective is shifted can healing occur, whether between two individuals or between two peoples. When this shift finally does happen, more choices become apparent, and then a lasting peace, and not just a ‘patch up job’, can take place.

I suppose what I am say here is that when one is caught in the crossfire, yes, there are things that may need to happen to ensure your survival. But if we rise above the situation and see what is needed at a larger level, trusting that it is possible, then our actions will be motivated by a different energy, and a different result is more likely.

As someone who considers herself in a healing profession, I am dedicated to doing my bit for the ‘bigger picture’. While I might not be able to take the knife out of the hand of the belligerent child, I hope to help change the situation so that the child no longer wishes to pick up the knife at all, except to slice the bread he will share with his neighbour and friend.

I firmly believe that all of us can begin this process when we start at a local level and heal the wounds within ourselves by shifting our internal energy to a place of peace, even when there is a turbulent storm raging around us.

I am grateful to this writer of this comment for giving me the chance to hear his anguish over the current situation.

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January 17, 2009

Peace Begets Peace – Pt 1

Posted by: Lynn Serafinn  :  Category: Inspiration, Peace, Social Reform

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We’ve all seen it.

A young child is screaming in the queue of the supermarket. He has seen a toy he wants, but his mother refuses to buy it. And so he starts to scream, saying, ‘I want it, Mummy.’ An embarrassed-looking mother restrains herself as she puts her groceries onto the conveyor belt. The child, being ignored, works himself up into a frenzy until his screaming causes people to look somewhat disdainfully at the distraught mother, who is trying her best to pay for her groceries and get out of the store as quickly as possible. But it’s no use. The child is getting louder and louder and people are looking even more irritated, especially now that the check-out girl at the till has just asked a runner to do a price check on that day-old loaf of bread amongst the woman’s groceries. So now the whole queue is waiting…waiting and trying not to look irritated as the child continues to scream louder and louder and louder…

And then, she loses it.

Unable to contain her composure for a single second longer, the mother starts shouting at the child. Her voice is even louder and more irritating that the child’s screaming. But she doesn’t just shout. She hollers. She threatens. She calls the child names. She uses language that she would never allow the child to use. She grabs the child by the arm, gives him a shove and tells him to shut up. She might even give a slap.

The mother, completely absorbed in her own frustration, is unaware at first that her own shouting is now drawing attention from even more disgruntled onlookers, who look at her with a bit of a critical eye. The mother starts to sense this. She tries to look away and pretends she doesn’t notice, but of course she feels mortified. But what else could I have done? she thinks.

Shocked by the mother’s aggressive behaviour, the child does go quiet-for the moment-and the mother tells herself that her behaviour is justified and that all these people looking at her should just mind their own business. She pays for her groceries, and starts to leave the store.

But as she goes, the child starts to cry again. It starts quietly at first, just a whimper. But soon it grows until it is even more pitiful than before. This time, his cries come from a much deeper place, and his sobs are gut-wrenching and heartbreaking to hear. They come from his feelings of being unloved, even if these feelings are completely unfounded. The onlookers watch as he cries all the way out of the store. Now he is wailing, even louder than before.

I describe this scenario because I have been thinking a lot this week about the nature of peace. As I write this, we are several weeks into the horrible violence happening in Gaza. I myself have several very good friends and colleagues living in the Middle East, both Jews and Palestinians, and the stories they tell me are heart-rending. Clearly, peace is needed, and it is needed immediately.

But taking the lesson from the story of the mother and the child, how does one create a lasting peace? When we attempt to create peace, at the cost of peace itself, we create no peace at all. We have seen again and again over the past two decades that when more powerful nations enter into the war arena in the name of re-establishing peace to a less powerful country or region, it rarely, if ever, works. Just like the mother who is able to temporarily subdue her child because she can shout louder and be more aggressive than the child, larger nations can surely assert their aggression upon smaller ones to get them to ‘behave’, but this is simply a temporary quell. Similarly, just as a child who has been shouted at his whole life learns to be aggressive when he reaches adulthood, nations subdued, whether through military action or political sanctions, also become aggressive when they begin to regain their strength. It might happen a generation later. But the reaction will come. Aggression can never be a solution for peace. Aggression breeds aggression. Only peace can beget peace.

Genuine peace is far deeper than the achievement of an externally subdued behaviour. True peace is a peacefulness of body, mind and spirit. Over the past year, for instance, much of the world appears to be not at peace over the global economy. However, I myself have been feeling very peaceful about it. I see the changes as part of the natural wave of cause and effect, and I am simply riding that wave with flexibility and creativity, feeling no real distress from it. But what I notice is, people who are not at peace within themselves, and who are given to stress, judgments and anxiety, are generally the ones who are the most disturbed by the so-called ‘crisis’. I myself felt this kind of distress about a year ago, until I realised that I was the source of my own anxieties, not the situation. It is not the economy that brings lack of unrest, it is us.

When we are anxious, we tend to spread our anxieties to others. When we do this, we create an imbalance in energy. It’s like tipping a tube filled with liquid. When the tube is unbalanced, the contents flow more to one side or the other. Similarly, when you tip things in the direction of your own anxiety, you only encourage more and more people to get sucked into the void of your own lack of peacefulness. One of most powerful mechanisms for shifting energies on a wide scale is the media. I personally feel that the anxieties surrounding the current economic situation have been greatly exacerbated by the way the media, including newspapers, have shifted the social energy. Shifting energy is the cause of any social epidemic, whether ‘good’ or ‘bad’. And what’s good about that, is that it also means that we have the power to shift it back into balance.

Knowing that global trends are really the result of shifts in energy, I find myself wonder on a daily basis what would happen if the entire world would suddenly come to a place of peace within their hearts. Imagine what would happen to the social energy then. If everyone were at peace within themselves, they would not have any inclination towards waging war, because they would not feel the need to judge or to be envious of others. If everyone were at peace within themselves, they would never feel the need to worry, even if economic circumstances changed. If everyone were at peace within themselves, instead of robbing others of energy, they would be able to give them energy. There would be no sense of competition, because no one would be worried about losing anything. Giving of oneself would come easily, because we would feel no lack within ourselves. Rather, we would feel full, and would have the desire to give. And when the whole world is giving, the planet becomes wealthy. The process is simple to learn. It is easy to do. It is sustainable.

‘But,’ you might ask, ‘this all sounds nice, but there is a real war going on. Blood is being shed. What could we do and what impact could we possibly have, while so much of the world is spinning out of balance?’

This is what you can do–be at peace.

This does not mean to be ignorant. This does not mean to turn a blind eye to the suffering of others. It means to walk with peace, hear with peace, see with peace. And if the whirlwind of the world’s drama tries to sweep you up, step back and know that just as you are the source of your own anxiety, you are also the source of your own peace. And just as the world may seem like it is trying to rob you of your peace, you as the Peace-bearer are actually able to heal the world with your peaceful heart. For when you have peace, the energy balance shifts, and more peace comes as a result.

So if you wish to do something that can make a difference to the citizens of Gaza, or to those who are suffering as a result of the economic tides, or to anyone else who is out of touch with peace, by all means follow your conscience and do whatever you believe is right. But regardless of how you choose to express your conscience, do it with a peace-filled heart, trusting fully that you have the power to shift the energy, and then simply watch the world start to change both around you, and within you

I believe that peace begets peace. So if we wish to bring peace to the world at a global level, we must start with ourselves. Be at peace. Go with peace. And the whole world will feel the impact of your peacefulness. Of this there is no doubt.

YOUR comments are heartily encouraged and requested. Please add to the energy! 

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copyright Lynn Serafinn 2009, all rights reserved

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