For Part 1: view post dated 7 July 2009
For Part 2: view post dated 8 July 2009
For Part 3: view post dated 9 July 2009

The role of coaching in this process
In my coaching, this is a major facet of how I help people. First, I help them realise the unconscious limiting belief patterns they have created and carried with them for many years (perhaps since they were children). Because coaching focuses on the “now” and not the past, it is not essential to go back in time to the cause of these beliefs; but often I find that as soon as clients see the pattern emerging in their lives, they can frequently scan back in their memory and find the root of it without effort. Usually, they are amazed that the belief has gone back so far in time, and they begin to see the impact this belief has had upon them, sometimes for many decades. This in itself can create a huge shift in the clients’ view of life, and they see that they are truly at choice to change their belief system, if it is no longer working for them in their current lives.

Stepping into your life purpose
Of course, as you begin to transform, it is also important to learn compassion and forgiveness towards oneself as you release these old belief systems, so you do not blame yourself for wasted time or spend time dwelling on regrets for past decisions. This process of “letting go” is the next stage in transformation. Taking a step back and seeing the bigger picture of the story of your life, instead of all the little stories in isolation, you begin to see who the world has been calling for you to become within your lifetime. At this stage, I help clients identify and claim their life purpose.

A life purpose is not the same thing as a career or defining what you want to “do”. A life purpose is identifying your ultimate impact on the world—your legacy. Once we come to understand that we actually have a life purpose, we look at life differently.

If the words “impact” or “legacy” are too challenging for you at this point, trying substituting them with the word “gift”. To get a clue as to your purpose in life, ask yourself these questions:

• What keeps calling me over and over again throughout my life?
• What do I keep resisting out of fear?
• If I could create/do anything, what is the “gift” I would want to leave behind for the rest of the world?
• What would I need to stop resisting so I could give that gift?

When you begin to see that you have a “gift” for the world, it shifts your sense of purpose. Instead of believing you are powerless and insignificant, you begin to see your own importance in the world. When I work with clients at this stage, I help them “claim” their life purpose, and learn how to give themselves full permission to live that purpose, for the sake of giving the gift that only they can give. This is when all the old, out-of-date belief systems simply start to slip away. No longer do we see ourselves as selfish human beings for living our life purpose, Rather we start to see that our own personal transformation and fulfilment is actually the key that can unlock a future world that is full of peace, harmony, compassion and wide-spread happiness at a global level…

To be continued.
Be sure to subscribe to this blog to receive complete article.

Coming up in Part 5:

• “Becoming BIG” and
• “Balance, Resilience and Recovery”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

For more information about Lynn and her work, visit:

• COACHING: www.create-a-life.co.uk
• BOOK: www.give-receive-become-be.com (or find the book on Amazon)
• GLOBAL WELLNESS CIRCLE: www.global-wellness-circle
• GARDEN OF THE SOUL RADIO SHOW: www.blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn
• GARDEN OF THE SOUL FACEBOOK GROUP: http://tinyurl.com/fb-gots
• GARDEN OF THE SOUL FACEBOOK FAN PAGE: http://tinyurl.com/gots-fan
• GARDEN OF THE SOUL SOCIAL NETWORK: www.gardenofthesoul.ning.com

Related posts

• Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World – Pt 3 (0)
• Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World -Pt 5 (1)
• Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World – Pt 2 (0)
• Coaching (0)
• The Lily – the Principle of Being (0)

For Part 1: view post dated 7 July 2009
For Part 2: view post dated 8 July 2009

The impact our beliefs have upon us
When we are convinced that something “is” true, it stands to reason that we will not bother to look at it a different way. So at the core of this feeling of powerlessness is the belief that something simply “is” and we are not at choice with it.

But the minute we are willing to try to see the same situation from a different angle, we have stepped out of the role of being the victim, and become one step closer to our Authentic Self. For instance, if someone has the habitual tendency to criticise you, you might have developed a belief around the fact that you are trapped in this situation and cannot escape it. At the core of this belief might be a deeper belief that you are weak and powerless, or that you actually are all the horrible things that the person is saying you are. Standing in these beliefs, you already believe yourself to be weak, flawed and vulnerable, and your reactions will be dictated by these beliefs. Because you feel so vulnerable, you might react by counter-attacking their criticisms. Or, if you are feeling very flawed and weak, you might simply “stuff” your feelings so as not to get into an argument, only to feel upset or irritable about it later. You might even believe that what they are saying is true, and beat yourself up about it rather than get into a conflict with them.

This is classic “passive-aggressive” behaviour. In either case, whether passive or aggressive, you have still allowed their criticisms to affect you emotionally, and to enter your mental and physical world. In the long term, this can cause stress and even disease. In some extreme scenarios (such as abuse or incessant bullying) it might be necessary to take yourself physically out of the situation as a first step, but until you learn how to realign and rebalance yourself from such energies in the outside world, you will simply continue to swing back and forth in a passive-aggressive pattern, without being truly free of its effects.

Learning to realign
Learning to realign is a matter of developing the ability to step into different perspectives where you are not “taking on” the energy of that critical person, and you do not feel the need to expend any of your own energy towards it, whether physical, mental or emotional. When you begin this process of realignment, you start to see that person as someone who is simply trapped in their own sense of powerlessness, and their criticisms lose their energy. When you do not take on that undesired energy, and you do not expend any of your own energy to reflect it, you remain equipoised, balanced and stress-free. And when the body and mind are not under stress, it means you are not only healthier and happier, but you are also more able to be creative and find more solutions to the challenges in your life. So while it is true that you cannot change the person’s behaviour, their behaviour no longer has a negative impact on you, and you find that you are more able to create the outcome you truly desire for yourself…

 To be continued.
Be sure to subscribe to this blog to receive complete article.

Coming up in Part 4:

• “The Role of Coaching in this Process” and
• “Stepping into Your Life Purpose”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

For more information about Lynn and her work, visit:

• COACHING: www.create-a-life.co.uk
• BOOK: www.give-receive-become-be.com (or find the book on Amazon)
• GLOBAL WELLNESS CIRCLE: www.global-wellness-circle
• GARDEN OF THE SOUL RADIO SHOW: www.blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn
• GARDEN OF THE SOUL FACEBOOK GROUP: http://tinyurl.com/fb-gots
• GARDEN OF THE SOUL FACEBOOK FAN PAGE: http://tinyurl.com/gots-fan
• GARDEN OF THE SOUL SOCIAL NETWORK: www.gardenofthesoul.ning.com

Related posts

• Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World – Pt 4 (1)
• Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World – Pt 2 (0)
• The Lily – the Principle of Being (0)
• Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World -Pt 5 (1)
• Feeling is Healing – Interview with Steve Ryals (0)

(if you missed Part 1, view post dated 7 July 2009)

The stories we tell ourselves
In my work, I have discovered that many people would indeed change, even at the age of 50 or even older, if they believed they had the power, choice and courage to do so. I hear them say things like, “Ok, all that sounds really good, but I can’t change my life. I have a family, job, etc. It would be SELFISH for me to change. My world would fall apart. I would let everyone else down. It would be irresponsible of me. I cannot change my life. Isn’t it the mature and dignified thing to simply accept what we cannot change?” 

Well here’s something that might come as a shock to you—if you are not living the life that the world had in mind for you when you came into this world, and you are currently suffering as a result, it is actually selfish of you NOT to transform yourself, and step into the person you were always meant to be. Why? Because you are not on the outside of the world looking in, or the inside of your own little world looking out. You are an integral part of this greater world called the Universe. You are like a facet in a very intricate diamond. If I take out your facet, the entire system loses a bit of its lustre. When you are not living the life the Universe deeply desires you to live, you not only get caught in an endless karmic swirl of frustration and personal dissatisfaction, but you also cause the Universe to weep for that person it knows you are, and for the impact it wants you to create in the greater world.

“Whoa there—impact?” you may ask. “Who me? You say I am supposed to create an impact? People like me don’t create an impact on the world.” 

Well, here’s the news:

• You are exactly the same kind of person as those you consider to be great heroes
• Everything you do already creates an impact, whether you are aware of it or not

Why we stay stuck
I believe that the reason why so many of us stay stuck in lives that do not fulfil us is because we believe we are powerless. I believe that this feeling arises from a basic lack of connection to Self and the rest of the world. When we feel disconnected from Self and other, our energies are driven downwards—mentally, physically and emotionally—and we become less able to see and feel our impact, even though we are indeed creating one. We begin to feel isolated and insignificant, and these feelings can lead us to believe we are very small and therefore have no impact upon the world. And sadly, when we believe ourselves to be these things, the world (and the life) we create for ourselves only reinforces these beliefs again and again.

Seeing so much “evidence” around us confirming (or so we believe) that we are small and insignificant, we develop the underlying belief that life is “happening to us” and all of this is simply beyond our control. As soon as we adopt this belief system, where we hold ourselves to be powerless, we have stepped into the role of the victim. Playing the role of the victim is a very subtle thing. Many of us may not realise we are doing it, and would argue that it is not true. Many of us might say, “You’re wrong. I’m not playing the victim. It’s just that the economy really is bad right now” or “It’s just that my parent/partner is always so critical of me” or “It’s just the way my life is right now” or “It’s just that my body is prone to such-and-such illness.” As soon as such “is” statements become our truths, we take on the role of the victim because we are saying that we are simply powerless against the forces around us. And in some distorted way, this because a very satisfying place to be for many people (I used to be like this myself) because it allows us to blame another person, entity or circumstance for our troubles, thus making us feel less critical of ourselves. But deep down, we are simply spinning in a vortex of powerlessness that we ourselves have chosen…

To be continued.
Be sure to subscribe to this blog to receive complete article.

Coming up in Part 3:

• “The Impact Our Beliefs Have Upon Us” and
• “Learning to Realign”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC

For more information about Lynn and her work, visit:

• COACHING: www.create-a-life.co.uk
• BOOK: www.give-receive-become-be.com (or find the book on Amazon)
• GLOBAL WELLNESS CIRCLE: www.global-wellness-circle
• GARDEN OF THE SOUL RADIO SHOW: www.blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn
• GARDEN OF THE SOUL FACEBOOK GROUP: http://tinyurl.com/fb-gots
• GARDEN OF THE SOUL FACEBOOK FAN PAGE: http://tinyurl.com/gots-fan
• GARDEN OF THE SOUL SOCIAL NETWORK: www.gardenofthesoul.ning.com

Related posts

• Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World – Pt 3 (0)
• Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World – Pt 4 (1)
• The Lily – the Principle of Being (0)
• Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World – Pt 1 (0)
• Feeling is Healing – Interview with Steve Ryals (0)

Transformation Coaching
Coaching, workshops, training, public speaking

http://www.create-a-life.co.uk

Book Promotion Coaching and Book Campaign Management

I unlock Number-1 bestselling mind-body-spirit authors through authentic, spirit-based promotional campaigns. I am generally booked at least 6 months in advance, so if you have a book coming out sometime within the next year, and would like a consultation to see how I can help you, please contact me via the contact form at http://spiritauthors.com/contact. I am also available to speak about online book promotion and principles of spiritual marketing.

http://spiritauthors.com
http://spiritauthorscoach.com

Transformation Coaching, public speaking, workshops

“I help people overcome their limiting beliefs, establish connection to their Higher Self, discover their life purpose, and become the heroes of their own lives. My goal is to turn up the volume of the music in YOUR heart!”

I am an award-winning certified coach, teacher, Co-active Leader, as well as an Amazon bestelling author in self-help, mind-body-spirit and spirituality. My passion is to help people find and express their authentic voice and find deep fulfilment in their work, life and relationships. I do this through my coaching, my courses and workshops, my public speaking and broadcasting, and my writing. I like to refer to myself as a “Cosmic Alchemist”, as I believe the universe is continually providing us with everything we need to pro-actively create fantastically rewarding lives, if we only learn some basic skills to recognise, receive and utilise what is around us. I also believe that all people are the heroes of their own lives, and that Personal Transformation is one way to unlock that inner hero, not only for your own personal fulfilment, but also to enable you to create a powerful and positive impact in the world. What makes me unique is my “Create-a-Life System” for personal growth that can help you tap into your “Whole Self”, offering you a practical system for specific needs, depending upon where YOU are on your hero’s journey in life.

My coaching company is called “Create-a-Life”
because I help people create the lives they want to live.

I offer:

• 1-to-1 coaching
• Garden of the Soul Coaching Groups
• Transformation Telecourses
• Transformation Trilogy Workshops
• Coming late 2009: “Becoming the Hero of Your Own Life Retreat”

Details of the above services will be on this site shortly. If you wish to know more now, please send your query to info@create-a-life.co.uk, or sign up for a free consultation on my Create-a-Life website at www.create-a-life.co.uk.

If you are FINALLY ready to discover your life purpose, stop self-sabotage, express your authentic self and create the life you were meant to live with an award-winning coach, teacher, and bestselling spirituality author:

Visit my Create-a-Life Website at http://www.create-a-life.co.uk
or
call 0845 880 2528 (UK) and ask for a free consultation.

Related posts

• Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World -Pt 5 (1)
• Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World – Pt 4 (1)
• Books (2)
• Wisdom – Our Eternal Dance Partner (0)
• The Lily – the Principle of Being (0)

Well, in my opinion, YES!

I do mind-body-spirit, wellness, complementary health fairs quite regularly and straight “health” fairs a bit less regularly. Here are a few compelling reasons why you should, and a few tips that could make them work for you.

Why you should display at wellness fairs

• Your primary aim at a fair is to get people’s names onto your list. Be sure you have a proper email list for them to sign (not just a blank sheet of paper) so it looks official and you capture the information you require. The challenge then becomes GETTING people to part with their information. One way I have done this is to buy about 50-100 cheap and cheerful gift bags at a £1 shop (or dollar shop in US). Buy ones that are 3-4 in a package for £1 (or $1). Fill them up with leaflets and articles, and put a sticker of your company (with your website URL) on the front of the bag. Line up all these nice “goodie bags” on your table. Tell people they can have one if they give you their email address. I use this method all the time to promote my Global Wellness Circle, so it means the bag is filled with flyers from lots of other practitioners as well as myself. However, you can find things to fill it with that are just from you. This strategy works like a charm… people simply want that bag, even though it is filled with promo materials! I routinely get about 50 new names on my list at every event I do.     
• Your secondary aim is to get people to agree to a free consultation or sample coaching session. At such events, the best way to do that is to offer a 10 minute micro session. Be careful, however, and only offer it to someone who is already engaging with you and who seems like a likely client. If you simply have a sign up that says “free sample sessions” you are likely to have a queue of people who are looking at you like some sort of free psychic or tarot card reader, and they are only doing it for entertainment. This is a waste of your time. If you do a micro session, stick to the 10 minute limit, and leave them with an enquiry. Get their contact info and see if they are willing to set up a full consultation with you. Put it in the diary, and make sure to drop them an email that says, “I look forward to our consultation on X date.”    

Things you should have in place for the show: 

• Get yourself a speaker slot. This is ESSENTIAL! Most of these fairs will give you the opportunity to do a 20 – 40 minute talk. Many of them do not charge an extra fee for this, but some might. If you do a talk, make sure that you have a clear call to action built into it (i.e., to sign up for a course, telecourse, workshop, purchase a book, etc). If you give a talk, and have no call to action, you are wasting a golden opportunity. Be SURE you get people to sign in and provide their email address when they attend your talk (ask them to tick a box giving you permission to send them info on your upcoming workshops).
• Be SURE you have at least one other person at your table with you. Choose that person should know all about what you do and should be comfortable and genuine with helping to promote your services. Sometimes I give someone a portion of the table to display their own products, in exchange for supporting me. How do they help? Well, you are going to need time of here and there for “bio” breaks, a walk about, lunch, etc., No one can go all day without some relief! Also, if you are giving a talk, you don’t want your table unmanned, or you will lose potential clients/sales. When you do walk about, don’t be away for more than 15 minutes at a time and make sure that you are making use of the time by establishing valuable contacts with other vendors at the event.
• Give attention to your display. This doesn’t have to be an expensive investment. A lot of people think you need an expensive banner or sign. While flashy signs/banners are nice, they cost a lot and are inflexible (i.e., once you have them, you can’t change them). A cheaper and more adaptable option is to have felt/Velcro display boards. I have a 3-panel tabletop board that is very lightweight and fits in a carrier bag. I take it everywhere with me (even on trains). I use one side to promote my coaching/Wellness Circle, and I have the other side JUST for my book if I am at a book event. I can change it around and add new things as they come in (ex: a new book review, a radio show I want to promote, a new course I am offering, etc).    
• Create a few attractive things people can take away for free … NOT just flyers and business materials! Write an article or a whole newsletter they can have (making sure your photo, bio and contact details are on the bottom). Free articles are some of the best and easiest freebies you can offer. Make sure it is on a topic that is immediately relevant to your niche and the kinds of clients you want to attract.
• Create a few things you can SELL. Don’t have any ideas? Try recording some visualisations on an audio CD, for instance. Slap a label on it with your contact details. Sell if for what anyone would charge for a CD. Even better, make an audio course and workbook, and put it all on a CDR. Try to make your money back for the table fees.  

The last mind-body-spirit fair I did, I made back every penny of my rent from book sales, I made a new client (who is still with me) and I collected 60 new names for my Wellness Circle, which turned into revenue as pretty much all of them have since started attending my Wellness Circle events. PLUS, these folks are now receiving regular updates about my workshops, books, etc., and many of them are buying them now that they have gotten to “know” me.

So all in all, wellness fairs are a great way for coaches to be seen, increase your list, and establish long-term clients/customers. 

If you are planning an upcoming fair, drop me a line and let me know if I can help in any way.

Author of Amazon best-seller
The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self

Founder/Leader of the
Global Wellness Circle: the holistic HEART of Planet Earth!

Related posts

• West Hertfordshire Wellness Circle Evening (0)
• EVENT: MK Wellness Circle 14 Jan (0)
• Bedford Wellness Circle Evening (0)
• Virtual Blog Tour for Garden of the Soul: Gina Marks (0)
• The Lily – the Principle of Being (0)

Author and Personal Transformation Coach Lynn Serafinn hosts British coach, workshop facilitator, award-winning writer, and active permaculture consciousness raiser, Corrina Gordon-Barnes. Winner of the Ooffoo Laureate Award for her writing, Corrina will be sharing her message of the urgency for us humans to make the transition from seeing ourselves as separate beings, to recognising we are all interdependent. She will explain how these unprecedented times are urgently calling each of us to rise above our inhibitions and fears of failures, to invent new, sustainable solutions for our ecological, societal and internal environments. She will also share some of her top tips for overcoming obstacles to new inspirational ventures, so we can create positive change both in our personal lives and in the greater world.

Listen LIVE or “on demand” any time after broadcast at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn/2009/06/17/Ep22-The-World-Needs-Your-Passion

Date: 2009-06-17
Start Time: 18:30
End Time: 19:00

Related posts

• Growing Up in Your Relationships – an interview with Geoff Laughton (0)
• Forgive and Be Free – Interview with Brenda Adelman (0)
• Can you help us get the Transition Network going here in Bedford? (1)
• Boosting Your Emotional Intelligence – an interview with Gail Sussman Miller (0)
• Vision and Visionary: Photographer Sheila Finkelstein (0)

I first met the lovely Brenda Adelman on the coaching networks. When I first heard her story, and about her current work, I knew that she had to be a guest on my show “The Garden of the Soul.” Read on and you’ll see why.

Originally from Brooklyn (like me!) but now residing in Los Angeles, California, Brenda is an award-winning actress, Unity Church Prayer Chaplain, and Forgiveness Coach. What is a “forgiveness coach”? It is someone who works with clients at a deeply spiritual level to enable them to “forgive the unforgivable.” For her outstanding work in the field of forgiveness, helping others to forgive, and overcoming tremendous forgiveness of her own challenges as well, Brenda was the recipient of Hero of Forgiveness Award from the International Hawaii Forgiveness Project in 2008.

What makes Brenda a hero of forgiveness? In 1995 she heard a shot that, as she describes it, “shattered her world” when her mother was shot and killed at point-blank range… by her father. If that would not be enough for one young person to forgive, her father then went on to marry her mother’s sister. On the show, Brenda read an excerpt of this story as she tells it in her upcoming book, Forgive and Be Free: A Pathway to Personal Happiness. I must say that it is gripping and chilling at the same time. The shock of it, as Brenda reads it, does justice (as much as one can with words) to the shock she must have felt when this happened. Brenda then told me about all the subtle ways this impacted her at a deep level. Grief, anger, rage, shame, depression, loss and so many other emotions became a tangled web in her life.

I am quite sure that most people would agree this is just about as close to “unforgivable” as you can get. So imagine coming to a place within yourself where you were not only able to forgive everyone in this situation (father, aunt, the court system, society, the universe, God, self…) but you were also able to step into peacefulness and inner joy. Pretty amazing, huh? Well, now imagine that you not only reach this place within yourself, but you also use all of your talents and abilities to help others overcome devastating loss in their own lives by learning how to forgive. This will give you an idea of who Brenda is, and what she does.

Brenda has created a one-woman show entitled “My Brooklyn Hamlet” that tells the story of her journey from tragedy to freedom in a theatrical setting. After the show, she delivers a workshop entitled “Forgiving the Unforgivable as a Path to Freedom.” She does this, she says, “to open people’s hearts and gets them out of blame.”

As a special gift to our listeners, Brenda shared her 5 Top Reasons to Never Forgive and Why You Must:

Number 1 reason why you tell yourself you must never forgive:
If I forgive this person I am condoning what he/she did.
Why you must: Forgiveness is for you, not them. It sets you free.
 
Number 2 reason why you tell yourself you must never forgive:
My anger assures me that this person will never be in my life again.
Why you must: Your anger assures you that this person is constantly in your life through either obsessive thinking about them or suppressing your thoughts about them.
 
Number 3 reason why you tell yourself you must never forgive:
They will hurt me again.
Why you must: Being angry and unforgiving actually increases the odds of you being triggered emotionally (being upset) by something else that they do.

Number 4 reason why you tell yourself you must never forgive:
Who would I be if I forgave them?
Why you must: You wouldn’t be the same person who holds a grudge, lives in fear and needs a wall up to protect yourself. Your open heart, good judgment and healthy boundaries would lead to a life of more joy.
 
Number 5 reason why you tell yourself you must never forgive:
What happened to me or a loved one was just too horrible.
Why you must: It was horrible. In order for you to create the beautiful and empowering life that you want you need to acknowledge that, grieve what was lost and/or what was taken from you and learn how to release those parts in you that are stuck in darkness and pain.

And finally, Brenda reminds us that “Forgiveness is a process not an event.” 

If you want to find out more about Brenda, listen to the podcast below. And after you do, be sure to visit Brenda’s websites, to get a whole lot of free forgiveness “stuff”:

• Sign up to find out when Brenda’s new book, Forgive and Be Free: A Pathway to Personal Happiness will be available and get a small gift called Your Personal Forgiveness Assessment at http://www.forgiveandbefreebook.com
• You can also receive the full eCourse absolutely FREE at http://www.forgivenessandfreedom.com
• And join Brenda for her next free “Forgiveness Teleclass” on Wednesday, May 27th at 5 PM Pacific time “What is a Healthy Boundary? How do you Set It?”
  Sign-up at http://www.forgivenessandfreedom.com (replay available).

Going to be in Los Angeles in June?—Come see award-winning actress Brenda Adelman in her one-woman show, My Brooklyn Hamlet, on Sunday, June 7th at 7 PM at Celebration Theatre in Hollywood. Get tickets online at www.celebrationtheatre.com . A Q&A follows the performance. 

Listen to playback of the show below:

Download the MP3 from:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn/2009/05/14/Ep17-Forgiveness-as-a-Pathway-to-Freedom

Subscribe to the podcast here: 

Browse through other episodes at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn

NEXT ON
Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul
(this show was already aired; catch the blog and podcast shortly) 

Wednesday 20 May
SHOW: Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul
Ep18-Photography and Transformation
6.30 PM UK time, 1.30 PM Eastern, 10.30 AM Pacific, 7.30 PM CET
Author and Personal Transformation Coach Lynn Serafinn hosts American photographer and transformation teacher Sheila Finkelstein. Sheila will be sharing her tips for using the camera as a tool for personal transformational, through which you learn to see the world with new and different eyes. She will tell us about her success in helping people who previously told themselves they were “not artists” to find and express their unique vision, by noticing the extraordinary in the seemingly ordinary, and the magic that is all around us within what she calls the “accidental art” of the world. Check out Sheila’s stunning photography in Lynn’s video “Song of the Rose” at http://tinyurl.com/rose-song.

This show was already aired. Catch the replay at “on demand” at:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn/2009/05/20/Ep18-Photography-and-Transformation

Can’t make it to the live show? No problem!

Catch all our episodes “on demand” at
www.blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn

About the show, “Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul”
Weekly broadcast exploring personal empowerment, life purpose, balance of mind, body and spirit, and how to tap into the inner hero that lies within every human being. Hosted by Lynn Serafinn, Personal Transformation Coach and author living in Bedford England dedicated to awakening the authentic voice in all people. She is the author of the Amazon bestselling book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self, and the Founder/Leader of The Global Wellness Circle, a holistic community project that is rapidly spreading throughout the UK.

Lynn’s links

• Garden of the Soul Book Blog: www.give-receive-become-be.com
• Garden of the Soul Social Network: http://gardenofthesoul.ning.com
• Create-a-Life Coaching/Training: www.create-a-life.co.uk
• Global Wellness Circle: www.global-wellness-circle.com

Lynn’s next live appearance:
Saturday 23 May
EVENT: Edenbridge UK Independent Authors Book Fair
9 AM – 4 PM
VENUE: Rickards Hall, 72 High Street, Edenbridge, Kent TN8 5AR
The first Independent Authors Book Fair takes place as part of the Eden Valley festival. The festival celebrates the West Kent community of Edenbridge town and the surrounding villages. The Book Fair presents twelve independent authors covering a range of genres. There will be a programme of talks, presentations and readings running throughout the day from 9.00 – 4.00. Light refreshments will be available. Join Lynn and 11 other UK independent authors for this inaugural event. Get to meet authors 1-to-1, ask questions, hear talks of writing and publishing, and purchase signed copies of their books. Be the first to be in the know about who is setting the trends in the independent writing field.

Amongst the speakers, author Lynn Serafinn will be delivering a talk on her new book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self which reached Amazon bestseller status in both the US and the UK the first week of its release in such categories as spirituality, mind-body-spirit and self-help. Visit Lynn’s book blogsite at http://www.give-receive-become-be.com for more information and full media kit for The Garden of the Soul.
More information at: http://www.ukindependentauthors.co.uk/Edenbridge_Book_Fair.html

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The Lily- The Principle of Being

Some thoughts on the teachings in my book The Garden of the Soul. Click HERE to find out how to purchase the book today.

Over the past months, I have been sharing with you some of the life lessons from my book, The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. The main body of book is divided into four sections, each one represented by a particular flower. You might think of these flowers as my “guides” or “mentors”, who teach me four spiritual principles:

• The Rose teaches the Principle of Giving
• The Iris teaches the Principle of Receiving
• The Daffodil teaches the Principle of Becoming
• And finally, the Lily teaches the Principle of Being

Today I would like to share some thoughts on the Lily and the Principle of Being.

Last month, I spoke about “The Principle of Becoming” (lessons from the Daffodil). The Principle of Becoming calls us forth to let go of “old stories” and allow change to occur for the purpose of expansion and growth. The Principle of Becoming is extremely important because without the conscious act of letting go, we tend to hold on to old patterns of behaviour, old emotions and old belief systems that no longer serve us and keep us stuck in so many ways. The Principle of Becoming is vital to our ability to adapt, experience joy and actualise our own creativity.

While the Principle of Becoming is all about our need for a sense of change, regeneration and rebirth so we can grow and have a sense of aliveness, the Principle of Being reflects our need for a sense of continuity, serenity and timelessness so we can feel safe and have a sense of identity. And while the Principle of Being is the seeming opposite of the Principle of Becoming, it is actually its essential counterpart. Without a firm hold on the Principle of Being, change in our lives can often make us feel vulnerable rather than free. But when both of these Principles are present and working together, they provide that much-needed balance between our desire for outward expansion and our desire for inner stability.

“Being” refers to continuity.
Our “Being” is that which is constant throughout our lives.

Being is…

• That safe place to which we can return reliably no matter what else is happening around us
• Our sense of Self that is not dependent upon time or circumstance
• Our inner knowing of who we are regardless of changes in our age, occupation, education, marital status, achievements, belief systems, social circles or economic status
• Our personal wellspring of serenity, wisdom, peace, inner tranquillity and satisfaction

In other words,”Being” is our sense of eternal identity, and is independent of our ever-changing personal relationships and roles in life.

To assess your own connection to your ”Being”, a good question to ask yourself might be, “Who am I when I remove all the labels about myself?” In other words, “Who am I when I am not the mother/father, daughter/son, husband/wife, boss/employee, this profession/that profession, rich/poor, young/old?” etc. In a quiet moment, ask this question, without self-judgment, and you will begin to get an idea of how much (or how little) you are in touch with your own essential “Being”.

At an even deeper level, true “Being” means an awareness of who we are beyond even more subtle designations of “self”, such as our intelligence, our talents, our nationality, our faith, our ethnicity or even our gender. Now ask yourself “Who am I without these designations?” and look more deeply into yourself to get a sense of that “Being” that lies at your centre. How easy or difficult do you find this?

Now go even deeper still and strip away all designations whatsoever, even to the point of letting go of the boundary between Self and the Universe. At this point, you realise at a deep level, and not merely with your intellect, that you and everything around you is Spirit. You come in touch with your own essence-your own eternal, pure consciousness- where you can see your connection to all of Creation, and is not dependent upon being within a particular bodily form at all. This ultimate understanding is at the core of the Principle of Being.

Some of us might find this perspective shift very challenging, if not scary, if we are at a point in life where we feel little inner connection to our own Being. We might fear that without some kind of “label” we will lose all sense of identity completely, and simply slip into a feeling of “nothingness”. If we dig down to discover the underlying cause of our fear, more often than not we will find it is triggered by a deep-rooted feeling of unworthiness. We do not feel we are “enough” without our worldly attributes. In other words, we have become accustomed to defining our worthiness through our roles, achievements and designations. We feel that we need these roles and designations to feel worthy of love, abundance-to be worthy of “Being”. When we have this underlying belief in our own unworthiness, it stands to reason that we would fear the loss of Self if we were to lose our labels.

But in actuality, the truth is just the opposite. Far from losing the Self, when we reach a state of genuine connection with our “Being-ness”, where no designations are needed to define who we are, our sense of identity is profound. At this point, we are able to find immense peace within the understanding that our identity is no longer dependent upon any external factor and is not subject to circumstance. When we finally release the need to identify the Self with “things” that come and go throughout our lives, we come into contact with our true Self, embracing it as eternal, and  transcending all change. And there is an immense sense of safety within this sense of “Being”, which is both immutable and indestructible.

The lessons I learned from the Lily in The Garden of the Soul (and especially in the story in the book called “Message on the Bridge”) guided me gently and lovingly through my own fears and attachments, so I could return to the essence of who I truly am. And the Lily as an image is an inviting and appropriate symbol for the Principle of Being. In the west, the Lily is frequently used in funeral ceremonies as a symbol of eternal, spiritual life. In the east, the water lily (or lotus) is a symbol of eternity and divinity, used to represent the soul, the spiritual master and even the spiritual world itself. In my own personal experience, back when I used to live in Arizona, I remember seeing a very special type of cactus that only bloomed one night a year, during a full moon. While I don’t know the name of this flower, it seemed to me that its white, star-shaped blossom was yet another kind of Lily, who appeared like a solitary hermit praying to the moon itself, shining brilliantly against the dark night for only a few hours. In fact, some of the imagery in my book where I meet the Lily come from my memory of that remarkable cactus flower. To me, the Lily, in all of its lovely permutations, was the perfect metaphor for the Principle of Being, as its beautiful, strong, white petals look like a hand of outstretched fingers, reaching upwards towards the heavens, providing a bridge between the earthly plane and the Divine.

The Four Principles of Give, Receive, Become and Be provide an easy model to check balance and flow in our lives. When we learn how to recognise these Principles in ourselves, we are more easily able to know how to recover from the inevitable upsets that come into our lives. The Principle of Being, like all the other Principles, helps us to enter into a deeper and more meaningful relationship both within our own Self and with the world around us. By tending to the Four Flowers within the Garden of our own Souls, it becomes very easy for our true Selves to blossom.

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[NOTE to readers: this blog post originally appeared on my social network "Lynn Serafinn's Garden of the Soul" on Ning. When I refer to people by name as "our own" and "right here", I am referring to that network, which can be accessed at http://gardenofthesoul.ning.com. Come JOIN us!]

This evening on my radio show, Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul, my guest was our very own GAIL SUSSMAN MILLER. For those of you in the Garden who have not met her, Gail is a coach, writer and public speaker, living in Chicago. I met Gail about a year ago when I attended one of her excellent teleseminars about reaching your target audience. At that time, I found her energy to be so warm and loving that I simply had to become her friend. On the spot, even though she didn’t know me at all, she volunteered to be one of my “beta readers” for my book (which was, at that time, unfinished). Since then, she has not only been one of my readers, but also a reviewer, a joint venture partner, a friend, a guest on my show and NOW (as of tonight’s show) we are talking about doing a workshop together sometime soon. How cool is that?

Anyway, if you don’t know Gail, become her friend because she is one fabulous lady who really knows how to make you feel welcome. And that is probably why she is so good at what she does. One of Gail’s many specialties is working with small groups to develop “Emotional Intelligence”. The term, she says, was originally coined by Daniel Goldman. On the show, Gail explained how we generally equate “intelligence” with the brain and measure it with “IQ”. This kind of intelligence is fairly static in life. That is to say, we all have a certain amount of “brain” intelligence, and while we can study and learn, brain intelligence itself does not generally increase to a great degree as a result of learning. Our bodies also are great repositories of intelligence (Luis and Fran you are always talking about this!). Lastly, however, our emotional bodies are also great bodies of intelligence. And unlike brain intelligence, emotional intelligence CAN be increased. And a good thing too! Most of us grow up with vastly underdeveloped emotional intelligence. We simply “react” rather than learn how to “respond”. Through development of conscious awareness, however, we can learn how ot separate ourselves from this reactionary modus operandum, and move away from feelings of being controlled by our emotions, and into a place where we feel at choice and within true selves at all times.

These are the ideas that Gail spoke with me about on tonight’s show. She also gave 3 of her 10 “secrets” to developing emotional intelligence. I’m NOT going to tell you what they are!!! (ha ha). If you want to find out these first 3 secrets of emotional intelligence, well you’ll just have to listen to the show by CLICKING HERE..

AND… Gail also wrote an eBook called (as you might have already guessed) “!0 Secrets to Boost Your Emotional Intelligence”. AND… here’s the very cool thing. She is giving it away to everyone who buys my book during its launch. Now, the launch was SUPPOSED to be over today (Wed 8 April) but I have decided, as it is Easter week, that it will run through Easter Monday. That means, if you buy “The Garden of the Soul” on or before this coming Monday, you can STILL get access to download 26 beautiful mind-body-spirit gifts from my friends and colleagues…. many of whom are right here on this site like Gail, Fran Stockley, Amber Rojas, Kathleen Schulweis, Gina Marks, Sheila Finkelstein, Jessica McGregor Johnson and Glenn Smith (did I miss anyone?).

To get Gail’s great eBook, along with all the other wonderful gifts from our friends here in the Garden (and many others besides, just go to http://tinyurl.com/lynn-bonus and find the links to Amazon to buy your copy of my new book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. Then come back to that same site and enter your name, email and purchase code. That’s all there is to it. you will then be able to “unlock” the bonus page and download all the goodies. Remember…. this page will ONLY be online until Easter Monday, so be sure to claim your copy of the book and these bonuses now.

To find out more about the wonderful Gail Sussman Miller how she teaches women solopreneurs, executives and companies how to turn obstacles into opportunities by boosting their emotional intelligence her many courses, training, coaching and other skills, visit her websites at:

www.InspiredChoice.com
www.HowToLoveSpeaking.com
www.HowToLoveNetworking.com

You can also connect with Gail on LinkedIn at: www.linkedin.com/in/gailsussmanmiller
And follow Gail on Twitter at www.twitter.com/GailSussmanMill

Lynn Serafinn
8 April 2009

P.S.: If you missed Gail’s show and you don’t have time to hear it now, you can access it “on demand” at www.blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn or subscribe to “Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul” via iTunes.

P. P.S.: NEXT WEEK on my show on BlogTalkRadio, my special guest is our own BRUCE MORSE, American artist, photographer, poet and author of the book “Forgive Myself”, which I JUST read last week. Bruce will be sharing his personal story of how he found peace with personal crises in his own life, including the death of his young son, through the pathway of personal forgiveness. Bruce will also share selections from his book. His story is remarkable. Be sure you tune in next WEDNESDAY 15 APRIL 6.30 PM UK/1.30 PM EDT at www.blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn

AND… don’t forget to check out my book and all those great bonuses before Monday at http://tinyurl.com/lynn-bonus

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Last week on my BlogTalkRadio show Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul, I interviewed Colorado-based Geoff Laughton, a Transformational Coach and Counsellor who specialises in inner child and relationship healing. Geoff shared his insights on how our childhood and adolescent wounds and beliefs affect our personal and professional relationships, and offered some practical tips to improve communication with your partner in a clear, adult, “Spirited” way, to deepen intimacy.

Geoff shared his own story of the struggles he had earlier in life, where he said he felt emotionally “dead” for many years. He described how he had taken what he thought would be a temporary job right after college, which ended up being a 17-year stint in the field of engineering. This, he said, gave him no intrinsic satisfaction, and left him feel empty, detached and stressed. Eventually in his mid-30s, after climbing the ladder in his career to reach the top of his field, he found himself working up to 80 hours a week, suffering from many chronic illnesses, and 100 pounds overweight. Due to his weight, which was by then about 300 pounds, his back eventually went out and he could not go to work for an entire month, being unable to drive, walk or even stand up. After that painful experience, Geoff used his willpower to lose the weight through diet and exercise over the next year. But although physically better, he was not truly and wholly well yet, for on Christmas day when he was 35 years old, he had a panic attack while standing in a book shop. In a private interview, Geoff described the terror, the racing heart, the fear of death, and the claustrophobia he felt in that attack.

Fortunately, this incident drove Geoff to do much soul-searching. He says, “The message I took from that was that it was time for me to look at what was really going on inside me. I had been overeating for a long time. So, I could see that something was wrong on the inside, but didn’t know what.” And in asking these kinds of questions, Geoff realised that, in spite of having a loving family and a highly successful career, basically he felt trapped and unfulfilled in life. So the question for him was, “What is not being fulfilled?” It was at this point that Geoff reached a turning point where he could clearly see that he had been using his career and work to avoid dealing with important emotions that had been with him since his childhood, but had not been resolved.

Geoff then started doing what he calls “significant work on himself”. He began conventional therapy and also did some group work around Transactional Analysis. All of this was very helpful, but then a good friend invited him to a special programme where he learned about the difference between thoughts and energy and how to work with both. Geoff says the experience was “intense” and that it was here where he “rediscovered and lit the fuse of his passion to help people.” He says, “I started feeling great, in body, mind and heart. I felt vibrant.”

Now back in touch with his innermost desires, Geoff embarked on the hero’s quest to live out that passion. He left the corporate world in 1996 and trained as a coach. He did Love Transformational Work and started volunteering to work with men’s groups. Then, the really big turning point happened when he started Inner Child work. Geoff quickly realised that he had a lot of unresolved and unexpressed pain from childhood and adolescence, including feelings of unworthiness and of not being good enough. He also came back in touch with different unresolved traumas, both physical and emotional, from when he was an infant and a child. He says, “I never got to be a kid while growing up. My spirit was dead, closed. My heart was not available. I felt disconnected in relation to God and spirit.” But the day after he started his Inner Child studies, he woke up with what he calls an “epiphany”. He says, “It might as well as been God standing in the room and handing me a programme telling me what I was supposed to do.” And so began Geoff’s decision to dedicate his life to being a relationship coach specialising in Inner Child work, and soon trained as an Inner Child Facilitator. These days, he helps men and women, both individually and as couples, to get in touch with their unspoken childhood pains, so they can reconnect to their hearts and souls, and develop intimate, loving and more spiritually-based relationships with their partners.

Of himself, Geoff says, “These days, I feel connected to an incredibly loving Universal Co-active Consciousness. I feel blessed to feel this in body, mind and spirit. I feel bliss, peace.”

Much of what I have written here are highlights from a private interview I had with Geoff shortly before the show. In his online broadcast, he shares other things, including different strategies for how to tap into your own inner child so you can find that same bliss, freedom and intimacy in your own personal relationships.

Speaking for myself, my own focus in life is to call out and acknowledge the inner hero that lies in every human being. And those of you who follow my writing know that my definition of a hero is one who hears the “call” of his/her own life and answers it, and brings those answers back to the world to make it a better place. Geoff’s story is an inspiring one of someone who not only hit rock-bottom and bounced back up to make himself a happy person, but also of one who is now actively helping to heal the pains of others and bring more peace, joy and connection to the world at large. So, like so many of my other wonderful guests on “Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul”, Geoff is a true hero of his own life.

Read more about Geoff on his website at: www.geofflaughton.com

You can also contact him about relationship coaching at geoff@geofflaughton.com or by calling 303-953-9215.

Geoff’s upcoming workshops (see www.geofflaughton.com for more details)

• Transcending Survival: Stretching Towards the Divine, Tele-Class, Begins 11 March 2009 
• Raising Your Spirit’s Voice Workshops: Boulder, Colorado, March 27-29;  Santa Cruz, CA April 3-5; Albuquerque NM April 17-19
• Growing Up In Your Relationships Workshops: Los Angeles, CA, April 24-26; Santa Cruz, CA May 8-10
  

Listen to the show now:

Subscribe to this podcast here:

You can receive a special gift from over 20 other mind-body-spirit professionals when you buy my upcoming book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. Find out how to get these fantastic gifts at:

http://www.give-receive-become-be.com/pages/bonus.html

AND… you can meet Geoff personally when you come join my online community, Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul at http://gardenofthesoul.ning.com. I call it “a vibrant place for cultural and spiritual creatives.” Come join Geoff and the dozens of others who are making it a very colourful place to be on the web.

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