Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World – Pt 3
Personal Transformation and Why it is Important for the Greater World (Part 3)
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC
Personal Transformation Coach and bestselling author
For Part 1: view post dated 7 July 2009
For Part 2: view post dated 8 July 2009
The impact our beliefs have upon us
When we are convinced that something “is” true, it stands to reason that we will not bother to look at it a different way. So at the core of this feeling of powerlessness is the belief that something simply “is” and we are not at choice with it.
But the minute we are willing to try to see the same situation from a different angle, we have stepped out of the role of being the victim, and become one step closer to our Authentic Self. For instance, if someone has the habitual tendency to criticise you, you might have developed a belief around the fact that you are trapped in this situation and cannot escape it. At the core of this belief might be a deeper belief that you are weak and powerless, or that you actually are all the horrible things that the person is saying you are. Standing in these beliefs, you already believe yourself to be weak, flawed and vulnerable, and your reactions will be dictated by these beliefs. Because you feel so vulnerable, you might react by counter-attacking their criticisms. Or, if you are feeling very flawed and weak, you might simply “stuff” your feelings so as not to get into an argument, only to feel upset or irritable about it later. You might even believe that what they are saying is true, and beat yourself up about it rather than get into a conflict with them.
This is classic “passive-aggressive” behaviour. In either case, whether passive or aggressive, you have still allowed their criticisms to affect you emotionally, and to enter your mental and physical world. In the long term, this can cause stress and even disease. In some extreme scenarios (such as abuse or incessant bullying) it might be necessary to take yourself physically out of the situation as a first step, but until you learn how to realign and rebalance yourself from such energies in the outside world, you will simply continue to swing back and forth in a passive-aggressive pattern, without being truly free of its effects.
Learning to realign
Learning to realign is a matter of developing the ability to step into different perspectives where you are not “taking on” the energy of that critical person, and you do not feel the need to expend any of your own energy towards it, whether physical, mental or emotional. When you begin this process of realignment, you start to see that person as someone who is simply trapped in their own sense of powerlessness, and their criticisms lose their energy. When you do not take on that undesired energy, and you do not expend any of your own energy to reflect it, you remain equipoised, balanced and stress-free. And when the body and mind are not under stress, it means you are not only healthier and happier, but you are also more able to be creative and find more solutions to the challenges in your life. So while it is true that you cannot change the person’s behaviour, their behaviour no longer has a negative impact on you, and you find that you are more able to create the outcome you truly desire for yourself…
To be continued.
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Coming up in Part 4:
- “The Role of Coaching in this Process” and
- “Stepping into Your Life Purpose”
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Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC
For more information about Lynn and her work, visit:
- COACHING: www.create-a-life.co.uk
- BOOK: www.give-receive-become-be.com (or find the book on Amazon)
- GLOBAL WELLNESS CIRCLE: www.global-wellness-circle
- GARDEN OF THE SOUL RADIO SHOW: www.blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn
- GARDEN OF THE SOUL FACEBOOK GROUP: http://tinyurl.com/fb-gots
- GARDEN OF THE SOUL FACEBOOK FAN PAGE: http://tinyurl.com/gots-fan
- GARDEN OF THE SOUL SOCIAL NETWORK: www.gardenofthesoul.ning.com
