Growing Up in Your Relationships – an interview with Geoff Laughton
Show: Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul
Episode 7: Growing Up in Your Relationships
Date aired: Wed 4 March 2009
Last week on my BlogTalkRadio show Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul, I interviewed Colorado-based Geoff Laughton, a Transformational Coach and Counsellor who specialises in inner child and relationship healing. Geoff shared his insights on how our childhood and adolescent wounds and beliefs affect our personal and professional relationships, and offered some practical tips to improve communication with your partner in a clear, adult, “Spirited” way, to deepen intimacy.
Geoff shared his own story of the struggles he had earlier in life, where he said he felt emotionally “dead” for many years. He described how he had taken what he thought would be a temporary job right after college, which ended up being a 17-year stint in the field of engineering. This, he said, gave him no intrinsic satisfaction, and left him feel empty, detached and stressed. Eventually in his mid-30s, after climbing the ladder in his career to reach the top of his field, he found himself working up to 80 hours a week, suffering from many chronic illnesses, and 100 pounds overweight. Due to his weight, which was by then about 300 pounds, his back eventually went out and he could not go to work for an entire month, being unable to drive, walk or even stand up. After that painful experience, Geoff used his willpower to lose the weight through diet and exercise over the next year. But although physically better, he was not truly and wholly well yet, for on Christmas day when he was 35 years old, he had a panic attack while standing in a book shop. In a private interview, Geoff described the terror, the racing heart, the fear of death, and the claustrophobia he felt in that attack.
Fortunately, this incident drove Geoff to do much soul-searching. He says, “The message I took from that was that it was time for me to look at what was really going on inside me. I had been overeating for a long time. So, I could see that something was wrong on the inside, but didn’t know what.” And in asking these kinds of questions, Geoff realised that, in spite of having a loving family and a highly successful career, basically he felt trapped and unfulfilled in life. So the question for him was, “What is not being fulfilled?” It was at this point that Geoff reached a turning point where he could clearly see that he had been using his career and work to avoid dealing with important emotions that had been with him since his childhood, but had not been resolved.
Geoff then started doing what he calls “significant work on himself”. He began conventional therapy and also did some group work around Transactional Analysis. All of this was very helpful, but then a good friend invited him to a special programme where he learned about the difference between thoughts and energy and how to work with both. Geoff says the experience was “intense” and that it was here where he “rediscovered and lit the fuse of his passion to help people.” He says, “I started feeling great, in body, mind and heart. I felt vibrant.”
Now back in touch with his innermost desires, Geoff embarked on the hero’s quest to live out that passion. He left the corporate world in 1996 and trained as a coach. He did Love Transformational Work and started volunteering to work with men’s groups. Then, the really big turning point happened when he started Inner Child work. Geoff quickly realised that he had a lot of unresolved and unexpressed pain from childhood and adolescence, including feelings of unworthiness and of not being good enough. He also came back in touch with different unresolved traumas, both physical and emotional, from when he was an infant and a child. He says, “I never got to be a kid while growing up. My spirit was dead, closed. My heart was not available. I felt disconnected in relation to God and spirit.” But the day after he started his Inner Child studies, he woke up with what he calls an “epiphany”. He says, “It might as well as been God standing in the room and handing me a programme telling me what I was supposed to do.” And so began Geoff’s decision to dedicate his life to being a relationship coach specialising in Inner Child work, and soon trained as an Inner Child Facilitator. These days, he helps men and women, both individually and as couples, to get in touch with their unspoken childhood pains, so they can reconnect to their hearts and souls, and develop intimate, loving and more spiritually-based relationships with their partners.
Of himself, Geoff says, “These days, I feel connected to an incredibly loving Universal Co-active Consciousness. I feel blessed to feel this in body, mind and spirit. I feel bliss, peace.”
Much of what I have written here are highlights from a private interview I had with Geoff shortly before the show. In his online broadcast, he shares other things, including different strategies for how to tap into your own inner child so you can find that same bliss, freedom and intimacy in your own personal relationships.
Speaking for myself, my own focus in life is to call out and acknowledge the inner hero that lies in every human being. And those of you who follow my writing know that my definition of a hero is one who hears the “call” of his/her own life and answers it, and brings those answers back to the world to make it a better place. Geoff’s story is an inspiring one of someone who not only hit rock-bottom and bounced back up to make himself a happy person, but also of one who is now actively helping to heal the pains of others and bring more peace, joy and connection to the world at large. So, like so many of my other wonderful guests on “Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul”, Geoff is a true hero of his own life.
Read more about Geoff on his website at: www.geofflaughton.com
You can also contact him about relationship coaching at geoff@geofflaughton.com or by calling 303-953-9215.
Geoff’s upcoming workshops (see www.geofflaughton.com for more details)
- Transcending Survival: Stretching Towards the Divine, Tele-Class, Begins 11 March 2009
- Raising Your Spirit’s Voice Workshops: Boulder, Colorado, March 27-29; Santa Cruz, CA April 3-5; Albuquerque NM April 17-19
- Growing Up In Your Relationships Workshops: Los Angeles, CA, April 24-26; Santa Cruz, CA May 8-10
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You can receive a special gift from over 20 other mind-body-spirit professionals when you buy my upcoming book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. Find out how to get these fantastic gifts at:
http://www.give-receive-become-be.com/pages/bonus.html
AND… you can meet Geoff personally when you come join my online community, Lynn Serafinn’s Garden of the Soul at http://gardenofthesoul.ning.com. I call it “a vibrant place for cultural and spiritual creatives.” Come join Geoff and the dozens of others who are making it a very colourful place to be on the web.
